Bonk Monologue

Over the weekend, the brother and I loaded the car, pointed it North, set the cruise control, and headed to Driggs, ID for the Pierre's Hole 100 miler. The format was a tad different consisting of a 25 mile loop that we would ride 4 times for a total of ~15k in descending (sounds better than 15k of climbing right?).  Long story short, I had a good and steady first two laps before exploding on the 3rd and then bringing it back for the final lap. My watch tells me my lap times were 2:19, 2:18, 2:44, and 2:22, and the HR tells the story even better. I popped. Hard. The third lap was a long dark trip into the pain cave mine. It was almost reminiscent of the Vapor Trail in '08 (I did a 24 solo 6 days prior) when I started to talk to myself and got into an argument (with myself) over who was pedaling and who was shifting the gears. Fun stuff. Regardless, I rallied the last lap and brought back a ton of time.  Ended up 4th overall and beat the 9:45 cutoff for a belt buckle by a mere 11 seconds. The last 90 min I knew it was going to be close but not 11 seconds close. I dug a bit of a grave pushing to the line, but hey, that's why I was there.

Anyway, as I was rappelling into the pain mine I had some great thoughts floating through my head that I knew I had to remember for later....


"Dang, it's hot out here."
"This snickers tastes like dirt."
"Oooo, here comes the fun part."
"I wonder what would happen if I ran into a moose?"
"This trail is super sweet."
"I wonder what rabbits think about all day?"
"I would punch a man for a Coke right now."
"Why am I cold?"
"Did I really just drink 5 bottles in 2 hours?"
"I wonder if there are snakes up here?"
"What lap am I on?"
"It would suck to crash there."
"Braaaap."
"Why the heck in my HR so high?"
"Who in their right mind would make a jeep road this steep?"
"I wonder if horses can get sunburn?"
"I thought that aid station was going to have a sprinkler."
"That's a dumb place for a rock."
"I hate headwinds when climbing."
"Roads climbs are nice."
"Dang, this tailwind is a killer when climbing, I'm sweating out that entire bottle."
"Oooo, that's a sweet view."
"I see a big valley just over there, why can't there be more than 10 feet of level trail on the whole course?"
"It's way too hot out."
"Seriously, why is this so steep?"
"Who put that stick there?"
"I'm cold."
"Crap, I stopped sweating."
"I feel like I'm riding in an oven."
"I wonder if alternating layers of sweat and dust make a good sunscreen?"
"I hate this part."
"Oooo, pretty flowers."
"Another climb - really, haven't we done enough?"
"I hate this part."
"It's hot."
"I wonder if I could out ride a bear when I'm this tired?"
"Oooo, more flowers."

Deep thoughts.